The Vital Woman

Are You Guilty of the Sin of Busyness?

 Thomas Merton, the American Trappist monk, once said “The great sin of our time is busyness.”  In the last few weeks since Thanksgiving, I’ve been quite the sinner—traveling, working on two book manuscripts, and gearing up for a geographic move.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the moment and let things like healthy eating and meditation fall by the wayside.  It’s as though there has been an endless loop of chanting inside my brain:

“I’m too busy to…..take my vitamins.”

“I’m too busy to…..exercise.”

“I’m too busy to…..meditate.”

“I’m too busy to…..work on my painting.”

Ironically, each of those things I’m too busy to do is essential to my ability to do all those other things that are keeping me so busy.  Without self-care practices to keep me calm and energized, I know that burnout is just around the corner.

How easy it is to stop doing the things that nurture us.  And how hard it can be to re-establish the practices so important to our personal resilience and vitality.  So as of yesterday morning, I’m back on track with a renewed commitment to the four practices of centering, healthy eating, exercise, and creative expression.  I know that I could fall off the wagon again somewhere down the road.  But I hope not—at least not for a long while.

So what’s keeping you too busy?  And how will you take care of yourself?

When the going gets tough, do the tough get grateful?

 
Marni Rader has a thought-provoking post on her Everyday Spirit blog about cultivating gratitude for the tough times. She suggests that since good has come from past difficult events, it would make sense for us to be grateful for any difficulties we are experiencing now.  Here are my thoughts about this intriguing idea:

It's not too hard to feel grateful for all the wonderful things in our lives.  But it's very hard to be grateful for the bad things in our lives--job loss, divorce, illness.  In fact, it doesn't even seem to make sense that we would feel gratitude for the negatives. Maybe we can muster up some appreciation for the good that came out of past adversity.  But when it comes to the things that are frightening or upsetting us right now, gratitude is the last thing on our minds.

So I'm trying to wrap my mind around these questions: 

• What would it be like to feel gratitude for everything I don't like in my life today?
• What would it be like to believe that the difficulties I face today really are moving me toward good?
• What would it be like to recognize that the difficulties I face today are offering me something good right this minute--that maybe I don't have to wait for bad times to end--instead I can allow myself to feel good, feel joy, even when my life is difficult or stressed? 
• What would it be like to believe that I deserve to feel good about myself even when I make mistakes?

The answer to all those questions? IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.  I know I'm not there yet. But I think that I can aspire to get better at appreciating all parts of my life, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  

I think that is why it's so important to have a spiritual practice, whether it is prayer, or meditation, or yoga, or Reiki--or whatever.  We all need something that helps us feel connected to the goodness in ourselves regardless of what's going on in our lives in the short term. I think that a spiritual practice is what allows us to feel gratitude in the present moment no matter what awfulness may be swirling around us.  I'm not sure I'm evolved enough to say "Thank you" to all the stuff I dislike about my life right now. But for this moment, I can let go of the negative.  I can breathe--big calming energizing belly breaths. And I can be grateful this Thanksgiving eve for all that is good in my life--my friends, family, students, clients, and dear animals.  Bless you all.

Hold off on that mammogram?

 
When you get to be my age, things like mammograms loom large.  It's important.  Hmm. Am I going to die of breast cancer if I don't have a mammogram?  Will I die from a radiation-caused cancer if I do have a mammogram?  What's a juicy 50+ woman to do?  More thoughts in this Salon.com article: Hold off on that mammogram?

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Could Reiki help you deal better with three causes of holiday stress?

 
Are you looking forward to the holidays? Dreading them? Maybe a little of both? What would your holidays be like this year if you could experience the joys of the season without the headaches? Japanese Reiki stress reduction techniques can help take the frazzle out of your festivities.

Reiki is a simple and powerful stress reduction system

Japanese Reiki is a 100 year old system that promotes physical, mental and spiritual vitality. Scientific studies confirm Reiki’s ability to increase relaxation, lower blood pressure, and boost immune function. Imagine being able to spend the holiday season in a completely healthy and serene state.  Reiki techniques are so easy and enjoyable that you’ll wonder how you survived previous holidays without them.  

Sign up for a free teleseminar Monday night November 23 

• Monday November 23, 2009
• 7:30-8:30 PM Eastern Time
•  RSVP to kathy@discoveryreiki.com for phone number and participant code

What you'll learn 

• How to avoid the long-term dangers of seasonal stress
  
• How five Reiki rules of thumb can improve your holiday experience
  
• How to use a Reiki breathing technique that will keep you calm and collected from Thanksgiving through the New Year—and beyond
  

One more time...how to sign up

RSVP to kathy@discoveryreiki.com for the call-in number and participant code.

I hope you'll join me on Monday night!

Mammo Madness

According to updated guidelines set forth by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, women in their 40s should NOT get routine mammograms for early detection of breast cancer.  The task force also recommends that women in their 50s get screened every other year instead of annually.  Huh??? It's a controversial topic among doctors--not to mention the 51% majority of people in this country who are women. One cancer expert said this:

"With its new recommendations, the [task force] is essentially telling women that mammography at age 40 to 49 saves lives; just not enough of them."-Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society

Unfortunately, everybody has friends who've suffered from breast cancer.  My sister and maternal aunt both are breast cancer survivors, so this topic strikes especially close to the vest, (no pun intended!)  I'd hate to see the insurance companies use these latest recommendations to deny coverage of annual exams.  As with most things in life and in medicine, there are trade-offs to having a mammogram, including radiation exposure.   So ultimately it's up to us to decide what's best for us and our breasts.  Click here to read a very insightful blog about the pros and cons of mammograms, written by a fantastic woman, Lissa Rankin, founder of Owning Pink, an online community for women, who also happens to be a GYN doc.

Meanwhile, take care of yourselves in the way that's best for you.  As for me, I'm making an appointment for my yearly mammo TODAY! 

Trapped in a Freelance Foxhole

 
Are you wondering where I've been?  Last week I was forced to leave the wonderful world of blogging and twittering to work on a really tough writing project with a killer deadline.  This project must be completed by Monday, even if I have to stay up all night! So please send positive thoughts that I actually make it.  Be back to you soon with the tale of all I have learned about life and myself from taking on this work.  Happy Sunday to all.

Thought you were safe from BPA if you stayed away from plastic containers? Think again:

For instance, Consumer Reports tested a bunch of canned juices, soups, tuna, and green beans and found bisphenol A (BPA) in almost all of them — even the ones labeled organic or bisphenol A-free. 

Read more here: Oh no! Bisphenol A again.  

If You Can’t Be With the Job You Love, Love the Job You’re With

I think there are a lot of us artistic, creative, holistic, or spiritually-minded folks who haven’t figured out a way to make a living from doing the things we are most passionate about.  For instance, I’m a Reiki teacher and artist, but I earn most of my income from writing and consulting.  For a good part of this year, I’ve felt disappointed with myself for not being able to grow my Reiki practice into a significant business.   I read a wonderful book years ago by Marsha Sinetar, titled Do What You Love; The Money Will Follow.  In my case, the money isn’t following very closely.  Meanwhile, I have bills to pay and a life to live.

So I’ve finally decided to stop feeling bad that I’m not a full time Reiki teacher and/or artist.  I’ve given myself permission to enjoy my day job.  Here are five ideas that I have adopted to change my attitude about my current job situation. 

 1.  Things happen for a reason.

If I really trust God, or Spirit, or a Higher Source, then it’s likely that I am doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing at this time in my life.  So maybe it’s not my time to be a full time Reiki teacher..or artist.. or...  Maybe there is something that I’m meant to accomplish by doing what I’m doing right now.

 2.   I’m grateful that I have work.

Lots of people don’t have a job and can’t find work.  Many people who are employed make less money than I do, or have really boring jobs, like being a toll collector.  So I’m really lucky compared to many others.

 3.   If I spent all my time doing my dream job, I might not love it as much as I think.

It’s easy to create a fantasy about how wonderful my life would be, if only I could do only what I think I want to do.  I can think of three wonderful jobs in my past that lost their luster after a few years. 

 4.   I can reconnect with what I loved about my day job when it was my new job. 

When I first started writing professionally, I loved that I could “see” the results of my work when a piece was finished.  I loved the challenge of expressing something in a way that others could understand.  As a new consultant, I really enjoyed helping people solve their business problems.  Wait…I think I still love all those things.

 5.   I can bring what I love about my dream job into my day job.

Today I’m busy thinking about how to be more creative in my approach to writing.  I’ve also recently begun using some exercises from Reiki energy healing in my consulting work with managers.  Maybe I can help change the typical business culture to better appreciate the value of mind/body/spirit approaches.

If you too are feeling frustrated that you can’t afford to fund a different life or career, maybe you can experiment with some rethinking of your own.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

 

Take Your Daily Creativity Vitamin

OK, well there isn't really a creativity vitamin that I know of, but there is something you can "take" everyday to enhance your overall vitality and well-being:  a daily creative practice.  My colleague Nancy Fernandez-Mills and I teach four essential self-care practices as part of our Creative Vitality Program.  Yesterday I spoke a little about nutritional practice, and today I'm focusing on the importance of a daily creative practice.  Most people recognize the importance of good nutrition.  But hardly anyone thinks that it's essential to be creative everyday.  We tend to lose sight of what all that that healthy eating is meant to do--to support us in creating a vibrant and fulfilling life.  Everything we do to keep ourselves healthy is in service of expressing who we truly are.  And that's what creativity really means: Expressing ourselves in ways that are meaningful to us.  For some it might be art, but for the majority of us, creativity doesn't involve formal artistic work such as painting.  Creativity might mean expressing ourselves through dancing, sewing, gardening, cooking, decorating a room, teaching a skill to others...  The possibilities are endless. 

There are lots of things that can get in the way of expressing ourselves creatively.  The most common block to creativity is that we may simply think we aren't creative.  We may think that the only truly creative people are those who demonstrate some high level of artistic talent.  But in fact we are all born creative.  It's in our collective DNA.  For instance, when we're children, we all draw as a way of expressing ourselves.  But as we grow older, we lose our innate sense of creative potential. Picasso famously said, "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." 

So our first challenge is to believe that we are creative, and open ourselves to forms of creative expression that resonate with our hearts and souls.  The second obstacle to being more creative is the idea that creativity is a "nice to have," not a "need to have".  We think it’s optional, when in fact creativity is a necessity.  Expressing ourselves is our way of making our mark on the world.  What we create not only fulfills us personally in the present moment; it is our legacy to family, friends, and community.

My first art teacher (who taught a class titled “So You Think You Can’t Draw”) gave us homework to draw each day for five minutes.  Anybody, he insisted, can find five minutes a day to pick up a pencil and sketch.  So my challenge to you is to find five minutes a day to do something creative. Experiment with a new recipe. Write a two-line poem. Make up a crazy dance to your favorite music.  If you find yourself spending 10 or 15 minutes instead of five, that’s good, too.  And if you’re looking for help in becoming more consistently creative, check out Leah Kolidas’ Creative Every Day Challenge.   It is a brilliant and highly supportive online community for sharing your creative journey with others. 

Meanwhile, leave a comment about your favorite ways to be creative!

An Embarrassing Eating Moment

As I'm writing this, it's 12:45 Eastern time.   A few minutes ago, feeling hunger pangs, I opened the kitchen cabinet in search of food and immediately spotted a container of Pringles salt and vinegar potato chips.  I saw, I opened, and I ate--at least 10 of them.  Quickly.  Standing by the open cabinet. That was my lunch.  High fat, low fiber, and even lower satisfaction.  I should mention that I'm visiting family members (none of whom was at home or I would have been too embarrassed to engage in my mini binge.)  And it's not that there were no healthy choices available.  Sardines in the cabinet right next to the Pringles.  Mixed greens and baby carrots in the frig.  I could have taken five minutes to make a yummy salad. Then I wouldn't have to listen to the anguished screams of my arteries--and my conscience. 

What's most embarrassing is that I'm a strong advocate of healthy eating.  My friend Nancy Fernandez-Mills (check out her blog EatBreatheThrive) and I teach a self-care program for women over 50 called Creative Vitality.  It's built on four key practices:  nutrition, centering, physical activity, and creativity.  Nancy and I believe that it's important to make time every day for each of these practices.  Everything we want to accomplish at this stage of our lives depends on taking good care of ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Good nutrition is clearly essential for vital and vibrant living. Today I let myself down by doing something I knew was not in my best interest.  For the rest of the day, I will commit to paying attention to what I need nutritionally.  I'll drink more water and load up with veggies (in their natural state!)  I'll forgive myself and move on.

What is your plan for taking good care of yourself today?