Marni Rader has a thought-provoking post on her Everyday Spirit blog about cultivating gratitude for the tough times. She suggests that since good has come from past difficult events, it would make sense for us to be grateful for any difficulties we are experiencing now. Here are my thoughts about this intriguing idea:
It's not too hard to feel grateful for all the wonderful things in our lives. But it's very hard to be grateful for the bad things in our lives--job loss, divorce, illness. In fact, it doesn't even seem to make sense that we would feel gratitude for the negatives. Maybe we can muster up some appreciation for the good that came out of past adversity. But when it comes to the things that are frightening or upsetting us right now, gratitude is the last thing on our minds.
So I'm trying to wrap my mind around these questions:
- What would it be like to feel gratitude for everything I don't like in my life today?
- What would it be like to believe that the difficulties I face today really are moving me toward good?
- What would it be like to recognize that the difficulties I face today are offering me something good right this minute--that maybe I don't have to wait for bad times to end--instead I can allow myself to feel good, feel joy, even when my life is difficult or stressed?
- What would it be like to believe that I deserve to feel good about myself even when I make mistakes?
The answer to all those questions? IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL. I know I'm not there yet. But I think that I can aspire to get better at appreciating all parts of my life, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I think that is why it's so important to have a spiritual practice, whether it is prayer, or meditation, or yoga, or Reiki--or whatever. We all need something that helps us feel connected to the goodness in ourselves regardless of what's going on in our lives in the short term. I think that a spiritual practice is what allows us to feel gratitude in the present moment no matter what awfulness may be swirling around us. I'm not sure I'm evolved enough to say "Thank you" to all the stuff I dislike about my life right now. But for this moment, I can let go of the negative. I can breathe--big calming energizing belly breaths. And I can be grateful this Thanksgiving eve for all that is good in my life--my friends, family, students, clients, and dear animals. Bless you all.